Many of you asked why I disappeared from the digital world, and I will try to explain it here. Something happened in my real life that left me completely broken, and it wasn't just single event, it was few of them, one straight after another. It was like someone pulling a rug from under my feet, and it was too much for my little heart to bear. I haven't stopped crying for a month and for the longest time ever I didn't know if I was alive or dead myself. And that is exactly why I stopped posting here or on my other social media, suddenly all this talk about natural lipstick didn't make sense. I was going to quit it altogether, but my hubby encouraged me to keep it going, and I later realised what would be the point in leaving what I love to do and just sitting staring at the wall and replaying all the horrible slides in my head over and over again? Some of you send me sweet messages in my darkest times, and for that I am extemely grateful - real connections like these are the best thing to come out of my blogging journey, and for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
One month on, I am trying to glue together a thousand of broken pieces that used to be my heart. I am forever a changed woman, and even though my heart hurts so bad still, I am trying to rise from the black hole I am in, I am trying to make this grief a passing stop, not a final destination. I am different as a person, and it made me revaluate my life in different ways, and there's one thing I want to ask of you - hugs your kids and your loved ones tightly and tell them how much you love them right here right now! Life a such a fragile thing and yet we take it for granted.
Sorry if you were expecting me to list the tragic life events in detail here - I won't, as it is private, and I am a very private person in real life. Always happy to talk green beauty products, yes, but my private life will remain my private life and I hope you are OK with it. This post was written and rewritten a thousand times, and I am still not happy with it, but I don't think there's a way to translate pain via blog, no matter how many times I will try, it will come out dry and wrong, so let's leave it at this.
Love you loads and let's continue our journey together.
Lots of Love,
Renata.
Both pictures from Google, source unknown.
Sweet heart. Any thing you need to make yourself healthy is all you need. You owe the social media circle nothing Baby steps! Always baby steps my friend. This is how I move forward after traumas I'm here 💋❤️
ReplyDeleteThanks gorgeous Linda, you are too sweet! I really appreciate your extended hand during those darkest hours, and I really mean that, even if I haven't told you.. Bear hugs! And baby steps..
DeleteI'm so, so sorry to hear this! And you never have to feel any form of guilt for keeping your personal life private! I really wish I had reached out to you during your abscence. I noticed it and kept checking back on your page. I know all to well, or at least can imagine what you were feeling during this trying time. I suffer from bouts of clinical depression and anxiety myself, which is one of the many reasons I chose to become a licensed therapist and Wellness Coach. Even if I'm not always able to fully care for myself in all the ways that I should, I'm always filled with insight for others who are in need of an unbiased opinion or an open ear. Please know that you can reach out to me any time! Whenever I'm in a dark place, I have to take a step back from social media because I feel overwhelmed and devoid of the joy I usually feel when using/discussing/researching green beauty. When I was pregnant, I really thought I'd never feel like myself ever again. I felt like my entire essence was stripped away, one fragile particle at a time. But, it's slowly coming back and I still have setbacks, but I'm pushing through. Right now I'm in the middle of making a lot of positive life changes in an effort to move forward. I hope to share my experiences and knowledge as soon as I get a firm grasp myself. I wish you so much love and light. Hang in there, love... This too shall pass... One day at a time, your world will get brighter. No one can ever take away our happiest memories. It might never make sense, whatever may be happening, but it will be okay.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Julie, I know exactly who you are,thanks so much for reaching out and your heartwarming message! it means the world to me and if you ever need me for anything, listening ear or green beauty chat, I am always just a DM on Instagram away! I hope you and your young family are doing well, and I am glad you are making positive changes in your life, I wish you all the best look with it. xo Take care dear
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